What does Paige from WWE and Moriarty from BBC’s Sherlock have in common? The phrase “I’m Baaaaack!”

Well, now after a bit of a long hiatus, I’m back too. Partly because I just had to comment on the dreadful events that took place on RAW earlier tonight.

Matt Hardy vs. Buddy Murphy

Matt Hardy should have beat Buddy Murphy easily. He could beat Buddy Murphy with both hands handcuffed together. He’s one half of Team Extreme! And yet, tonight I saw Matt Hardy used as little more than a redshirt in his match with Buddy Murphy. This was the start of a series of dreadful matches.

Fatal 4 Way: Randy Orton vs. Ricochet vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Drew McIntyre

First of all, why is there even a four-way? I have to agree with AJ yuck in this case, that’s one of Ricochet’s dumbest ideas. Mysterio deserves less than nothing and shouldn’t even be out here, so at the very least it should have only been a triple threat. Second, Ricochet is getting old and no one wants to see him with a title. So this should only really be a question of whether it should be Randy Orton or Drew McIntryre, who is as he says “tall, dark, and handsome with a sexy accent”. I would LOVE to see Randy Orton or Drew McIntyre take the title from AJ.

The outcome? The WORST possible outcome! Rey Mysterio wins… I thought he was retiring months ago? Let’s go back to that. But, no… Mysterio now gets a title match with AJ Yuck.

Title Match: AJ Styles vs. Rey Mysterio

I hate both of them, but I’m rooting for the lesser of two terrible outcomes. Go AJ Yuck!

Unfortunately, RAW just keeps getting better and better (note the sarcasm) and guess who wins? The should be retired and gone, Rey Mysterio. Great, now he’s a champ too… Where’s Brock Lesnar when you need him?

Asuka vs. Charlotte Flair

Now, the competitors in this match aren’t nearly as dreadful as the two I just watched compete for the title. That’s a relief.

The relief doesn’t last long though.

Now, I like badass blondes on principle so I may be just a tiny bit biased in Charlotte’s favor, but anyone can admit that Asuka’s lost a bit of her fierceness in recent months. Asuka has needed to cheat on two fronts, both with interference from her tag team partner, Kairi Sane, and with a green mist spit attack blinding her opponent, to win lately. What happened to the undefeated Asuka who needed no assistance to kick ass? Well, probably the same thing that’s happening with the rest of RAW, nothing good.

Yet another match with the wrong ending…

Main Event: Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens

I think I speak for everyone when I say that I wanted KO to win. But, if the rest of RAW so far had been any indication, I should have been prepared for disappointment. I wasn’t and so it still came as a dreadful shock when guess who should interfere? AOP. The useless, talentless brutes who were nowhere to be found when real fighting is going on, but pop into existence to beat up an already softened up Kevin Owens. Why? Who knows. Maybe Seth Rollins planned it beforehand knowing how much he sucks.

As if that wasn’t a disappointing enough ending to the night. It gets better. (More sarcasm.)

Once AOP left the ring leaving Seth Rollins untouched, Rollins decided his huge ego couldn’t survive without several cheap stomps to a defenseless Kevin Owens. He really needed to reinforce the idea that he sucks and needs to lead by beating up actual fighters after they’ve been rendered helpless by a third party. Then again, what else could we have expected after seeing him stab his SHIELD brothers in the back years ago?

All in all, it’s really no surprise that RAW lost so spectacularly at Survivors Series yesterday. With Superstars like Seth Rollins and Rey Mysterio on the RAW roster